We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
