I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
