So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
