And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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