You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
