I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
