i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
