Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
