Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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