His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
