What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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