It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
