She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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