Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
