I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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