I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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