i don't like sucking hair
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
