I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
