I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
