i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize