Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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