Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
