I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
