And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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