i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
God I need to hump something, right now.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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