Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
