That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize