HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
