And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
