let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
