he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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