some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
