my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
