I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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