She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
