VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
