Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
false alarm, still single
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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