it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
These tits shall not be calmed
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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