She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
