i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
