K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
