dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
porn star boner night. come get it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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