In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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