Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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