All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
