I don't think brook has ever known best
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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