i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Randomize
