tell your sister to shave her snatch
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
