Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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