i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
