Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
vagina is talking i cant
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
