so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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