Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
