i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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