I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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