Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
