My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
